Per Ardua Ad Astra

Credit goes to Zhen Guang for passing me this The Age article when I’m supposed to be reading Singaporean policy papers and speeches as well as writing my own paper.

I’m still in the middle of quite a lot of stuff so I’ll make this quick. I’ll ‘reappear’ on the face of the Earth this NovDec 4, so stay tuned.

As you can already summarise I was handed this article in the Australian paper titled "While Malaysia fiddles, its opportunities are running dry" by Michael Backman. Read and see why the author calls our country ‘Malaysia Bodoh’ and not ‘Malaysia Boleh’. It’s enlightening in some aspects. Here are some excerpts.

Now I understand what the fuss on the Malay corporate equity is all about:

The long-held aim is for 30 per cent of corporate equity to be in Malay hands…. It bases its figure on equity valued, not at market value, but at par value.

Many shares have a par value of say $1 but a market value of $12. And so the Government figure (18.9 per cent is the most recent figure) is a gross underestimate. Last month a paper by a researcher at a local think-tank came up with a figure of 45 per cent based on actual stock prices. All hell broke loose. The paper was withdrawn and the researcher resigned in protest. Part of the problem is that he is Chinese. (emphasis added)

At least you can’t say our bureaucrats can’t count. It’s just that they’re counting the sheep instead of the wool.

And he’s quite right about the KLCC too.

Malaysians are very proud of these towers. Goodness knows why. They had little to do with them. The money for them came out of the ground and the engineering was contracted out to South Korean companies.

You’re quite right Mr. Backman. In fact, I used to wonder the same thing too. I still do.

On the proposed RM490 million Sports Complex in London.

…the Government announced that …so that Malaysian athletes can train there and "get used to cold weather".

But the summer Olympics are held in the summer.

So what is the complex’s real purpose? The dozens of goodwill missions by ministers and bureaucrats to London to check on the centre’s construction and then on the athletes while they train might provide a clue.

Ah, now I get it. Our politicians are athletes! Those air-conditioning systems in Putrajaya must need some real adjusting to when they perform their ‘acts’.

Since they didn’t think of something easy like adjusting the thermostat control, I can summarise another fact: They forgot the thermostat control when they built Putrajaya. To be fair, they didn’t realise that we’ll need air conditioning when you built Middle Eastern architecture in the South East Asia in the first place.

Honourable sirs, I think London isn’t that cold. Maybe you should try Siberia. The land’s cheaper than London, and it’s far colder…provided that global warming haven’t gotten there first. Waaait…doesn’t it happen in London too? I mean, global warming’s global, right?

On his website, he has another piece. This one is written in response to our brethren emailing him. You can check it out here. Below is a part of it.

Since my column was published, plans for a new RM400 million Istana have been announced…

It seems that the Istana is no longer big enough to accommodate all the functions they’re having. The first thought that loomed in my mind when I read The Star’s article then was: Emperor Nero on ‘kenduris’? Maybe they should try a diet program instead. I think it’s cheaper. Besides, the SPB YDPA (the abbreviated King’s full title) already has a retreat in Putrajaya and he needs yet another residence there?

On our first ‘angkasanaut’ and my pet subject of space exploration, Space.com announced M’sian space plans before, but they didn’t announce this piece this time round (thankfully!). I found out through The Star, and Mr. Backman knew about it too:

…and the Agriculture Ministry parliamentary secretary has told Parliament that Malaysia’s first astronaut will be playing batu seremban and spinning tops and making teh tarik while in space.

Yes, and it’s costing us nearly RM100 million people! That is enough for us to send 100 people to the UK to study Medicine! Maybe 200 rocket scientists (more if we send them to Russia)

I’ve always thought it’s a farce to send a Malaysian up by paying somebody to send him/her up. Even then, I knew that space tourism will get there faster (SpaceShipOne eventually did it in 2004). National pride in sending somebody up? The pride is in being able to send up people on your own, not by paying for a ticket you fool! I never forgave Dr. M for doing this.

Now, WHAT THE HELL does the Agriculture Ministry gotta do with PLAYING GAMES IN SPACE? Look, having the Agriculture Ministry announcing that they’ll experiment with paddy up there is fine, but this is pushing things too much! What kind of space experiment is that, to prove with batu seremban Newton’s First Law of Motion? Hello, they’re already testing general relativity with Gravity Probe B!

I have heard of many ludicrous things while reading space exploration history and space tourism plans. Nuking the Moon, deliberately stranding people on the Moon/Mars and even a sex ’sock’ for 0-G encounters but this wins hands down. Yes, there are countless scientists around the world who would give anything for the opportunity to go to space and do real experiments, and we’re spending RM100 million for an astronaut to frolic in space. Are we retards or what? Memang pun ‘Malaysia Bodoh’!

P.S. : Rafidah, the AP Queen came out to rebut this in The Star here.

The Wanita Umno chief said the Australian writer had apparently not followed the Umno general assembly proceedings closely. 

“If he did, he would have seen things differently.” 

Datuk Seri, IMHO, I think Mr. Backman followed our UMNO proceedings close enough. He’s seeing things differently, because he’s a thinking adult you see.

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