Per Ardua Ad Astra

I actually had something else in mind to blog today, but something else caught my fancy and it diverted my attention away from whatever that I had planned.

In fact, I was thinking of chivalry earlier this morning (it is so very very late, that we may call it early by and by) and how we men are stuck between the clichéd rock and a hard place. Lo and behold, in less than 12 hours a blog post popped up somewhere on one of my oft visited blogs. A coincidence? Perhaps, but a weird character in a Guy Fawkes mask with an affinity for the letter V said "I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence." Randomness is a central tenet of quantum physics, but lest we forget it also gave us quantum entanglement. Coincidence may not be such a coincidence after all. Maybe that we’re entangled by exposure to the same set of information, that we naturally start to think and act in a similar way? Plus, when we start absorbing and putting forth ideas it spreads everywhere, even to places you wouldn’t expect it to go. The wonderful power of ideas. Anyway, back to the main issue.

On one hand we have societal traditions, the other modernist feminists. Yes, there is an apparent contradiction. The former wants us to be charming gentlemen, the latter wants us to treat them like equals. They don’t mix, but from what I can discern they’re probably cherry picking from both sections and choosing only the parts that they want. Don’t crucify me for what I’m about to say, but you’re probably asking for the best of two worlds. Next, you’ll probably ask to be in Milan and New York to shop at the same time, right? Uh, never mind. I can’t determine which is more difficult. :S

Is it really such a tall request? Asking too much without something tangible to give in return? I’m no expert at this, but in negotiating a ‘contract’ there must be give and take right? Consider this. Fine, you probably wouldn’t want us to baby you and cocoon you. Fair enough. Next, you expect us to treat you like our best buddy. Huh? Ok, we’ll try.

In that case, you can fix my car and pay for our dinner next weekend. Aiya, belanja lar. I paid for dinner last week ma. And I’m borrowing your car for today ar? What? You twisted your ankle? Come on, don’t be a sissy. Go see a doctor. I’m at work, so you’ll have to go yourself. You got problems with the project? Can’t you find someone else to do it for you? I’m busy. Unless you can wait till next week. Buy something for you, can’t you do it yourself? While you’re at it, I need something too. Pay you back next month or something.

If you’re offended at any of the situations conjectured above, fine. IMHO, that’s a recipe for disaster. If you’re accusing me of over exaggerating, I’ll accept some of the blame because I am. So what’s my point? The point is, when you expect you to treat you equally please remember there are good and bad things that come with it. Be careful of what you wish for. Plus, you’re asking us to forget that you’re from the opposite sex. That includes trying to remove some biological and societal factors from the equation. And we treat you differently for a good reason, as our brains are wired differently. If we give you the usual smack on the back, you might think we’re being physical with you when we’re just being friendly. When we curse at you, you would think we’re rude when we’re actually joking and so forth. And you still want us to be chivalrous. I think you get the idea.

In conclusion, while it’s understandable that you want more, it’s only fair that you do the same. Reciprocate, and you might get all that. Relationship is a two way street after all. If you don’t get what you want, you’re probably not sending the right messages, or he’s a jerk. If you refuse to give and take, don’t blame the guys for what happens next. Next time, if you’re outraged at the thought that we’re babying you why don’t you take it positively and try to give something back in return? Do remember that this relationship isn’t the same as a friendship, and sometimes the guys feel they have an obligation to do this and that. It is however, not a license to demand this and that and everything else. That’s tantamount to slavery or worship.

P.S.: I think whatever I just wrote is rubbish. If you’re in a relationship that you’re not satisfied with, you need a chat with your other half. Or that you need a new partner. Period.

All right, I’m having some problems concentrating on whatever I’m doing. Ever had times when you’re perfectly aware of what’s around you, but you can’t connect the dots? This is just one of the times. Maybe it’s just ADHD, or that I need a break from the chaos we call urban life. Nevertheless, it’s back to blogging. At least it’s a break from routine stuff, and I get to put my thoughts down somewhat coherently. In fact, in the IELTS test I just sat for today I don’t think I wrote my essays as coherently as desired. I’m also slightly startled by the number of candidates that turned out at the test centre though. Let’s try out a Fermi estimation.

Imagine, if we have 100 candidates sitting for IELTS monthly, 12 months a year, and multiply that by 8 test centres that’s about 10,000 people. Let’s not forget TOEFL, so we double that figure to get 20,000? Ok, it’s not even close to the average figure of 40,000 departures mentioned somewhere on the Internet (the supposedly 1,000,000 Malaysians migrating abroad in the past quarter century) but the figure could still be in the ballpark. After all, TOEFL and IELTS are for Aus, UK and US mostly and I didn’t bother about students going to other destinations. So, 30,000 could be a more balanced estimate for outgoing students. I haven’t considered outgoing workers and families that could follow their spouses or children. Could that add another 10,000? Possibly. Looks like the weak ringgit may not be a damper after all, just keeping the figures in check? Don’t start quoting my figure, since it’s an extremely crude estimation but Fermi says that the errors should cancel out, but in the absence of data it’ll have to do.

Moving on, let’s talk about the perils of global warming. The subject has produced many effects like the defrosting of Al Gore who’s now basking in the limelight of the entertainment industry and the ‘greening’ of many politicians. Of course, there’s the usual complement of rhetoric and hardball talk. But could their plans really work? Newsweek says nein. Sadly, I have to agree. Truth is, nobody wants to give the public the hard news because that would hurt their poll ratings. Remember, we’re all conceited and selfish bastards. But given enough collective will, something on the scale of the Manhattan Project or the Space Race would do the trick. Problem is, why should they do it? It’s only a degree or two. And that’s decades away! Like what a Harvard psychologist said (I was lucky to get an audio recording of a talk he gave), our brain can only detect change. In this case, the change is barely perceptible and thus taken lightly. For us, we’ll just go "Genting is not as cold as it once used to be" and then forget all about it when we’re home in our air-conditioned rooms.

As disconnected as it seems, global warming has intimate ties with geopolitics. To reinforce my point, Jeffrey D. Sachs now writes for SciAm focusing solely on the topic of sustainable development. It is weird, but it is becoming a necessity. Politics need science, and vice versa. But there’s always a gap between them, like estranged siblings. Anyhow, if you’d think global warming is still ‘just a degree or two’, read this and think again. Maybe we could do with scientists as governing heads (I always had this idea of putting the smart ones in charge, not the charismatic ones), but if you’ve played Half Life 2: Episode One you’ll see the problem. Failed experiments leading to a post apocalyptic world. Furthermore, they’re poor pretenders to being public figures (Dr. Kleiner?). A real life example I had in mind is Carl Sagan, but a slight problem is his affiliation to SETI (in less polite terms, UFO freak?). We’re still stuck with charismatic idiots after all.

As you all know, the Jasin MP should have reached a certain level of imprinting with the Malaysian society. That applies especially to those who actually read the domestic section of the newspapers. Honestly, I never bothered reading them for about 4 years now. Except for the major gossips, of course.

Ok, he got himself in hot soup with the ‘one eye closed’ thing. It’s stupid for one thing. If you don’t agree with the Customs decision, change the legislature. It’s not as if MPs are not able to do so as stated in our slightly imbalanced Constitution. Oh, then he claims to have evidence of corruption in the government. Ooh, goes the small voice in my head. Him, come up with something? HAH!

FInally, he did come up with something. But again, it’s something that doesn’t quite match public expectations of corruption.

Ben has more to say about it, and hell, you can’t beat him when somebody needs a verbal lashing and you need someone to do the job.

I just checked the NUS Hostel accomodation website for more information where I might be staying at, and I just realised something really coincidential! My mailing address is #03-25-F! And the last address I had in S’pore is Unit H3-25! Dammit, is this all fated to be?

Well, looks like I get to be close to the BBQ pit and Fast food outlets. Food is going to the the least of my concerns, at least. Only cash. At least I have a scholarship to cover some of that.

Ah, decided to try and be productive in whatever way possible. World Cup is, thankfully coming to an end although with a result I didn’t really expect. The unpredictability is, after all one of the main reasons why football remains one of the most popular sports in this third rock from the sun. Having France and Germany as finalists would be a very interesting prospect, but sadly it is not to be. Anyhow, I’ll hopefully be able to sleep properly soon. I’ll need all the R&R I can get before going to ‘Hell’ later on this month. Better blog while there’s plenty of time to do so, even when the substance’s largely rubbish.

Anyway, I’m totally bored with blogging about myself. First, it doesn’t make for pleasant read and secondly, I must channel my anger and frustration in a positive way.

So what? Fortress Europe conquered the Sports pages in our newspapers, so let’s move on to our Asian neighbors making headlines in the World section. Apparently, the Dear Leader Kim Jong Il decided that he’s not getting attention in the media anymore and has decided to make a bit of a fuss up North. He’s prepared his phallic symbols of power and decided to show them off to the wide world, the bigger the better. Boys be boys, as the saying goes just like in DVC). No, I’m not saying that he flashed in the conventional sense, at least not in our casual definition.

What I’m talking about is North Korea’s ‘missile threat’ to its neighbors and the big boy across the Pacific. And no, I’m not perverted. In fact, I never thought of rockets in that way until I read a historical overview on rocketry and the author referenced rockets that way. And with things like this, it just stuck. Anyway, Japan and South Korea may have cause for concern (China need only lift one finger and North Korea is just another province of the Middle Kingdom) but the United States, seemingly powerless to do anything to stop it? Look, North Korea just launched another 7 missiles to show its defiance (just showing that he has more than one phallus?).

No surprise isn’t it, that a CNN Poll on this issue has 50% of respondents advocating military action in the eventuality that North Korea launched their big one later on. The US should. Kim Jong Il is a maniac, and should be thrown out the world stage come hell or high water. But unfortunately, Bush isn’t well suited to the delicate task of using the hook to whisk the irritating players off the world stage. What he did was had the drums roll, come up to the stage with the cowboy costume, lasso Saddam Hussein and then drag him off the stage like a medieval conqueror. I wanted Saddam Hussein off the world stage, just like any rational person on the street, but that’s just not the way to do it.

Now, notwithstanding the Dear Leader’s intentions there are a few questions everybody might ask. Can they launch nuclear tipped missiles? Can the US do anything about it? Short story, the answer to both is no. But, there isn’t much to prevent the North Koreans from loading nuclear warheads to ballistic missiles. It’s considered ‘trivial’ technology compared to mastering nuclear bombs (if you’ve noticed it, how come seemingly backwater Third World pariah nations can get their hands on them so easily is an interesting thought to consider). If the missile test works out, Alaskans and Californians should beware of the new missile threat. However, globalsecurity.org claims that the 3 stage missile isn’t a ballistic missile, but rather a satellite launch platform and it would still take weeks before the rocket is actually ready for launch (it still amazes me from time to time what kind of information is available on the Internet). Therefore, the initial news reports must be scare mongering isn’t it? In a suspicious coincidence, South Korea and Japan brought Patriot missile batteries from the US. Maybe the US just hyped up the news so they can get rid of surplus weapons systems? Quite a plausible idea though, but we can never be quite sure about it.

In truth, the notion of actually shooting down the North Korean missile is a tempting prospect. I’m just a sadist, hoping for rain on people’s parade. : P Unfortunately, from whatever technical analyses of the current missile defense system I checked out, it’s pretty much a fat chance apparently. See, it’s the classic problem of being easier to break a window than to make it break proof. Well, let’s not get into details (they’re terribly complicated and boring for casual read anyway) but here’s a current overview on the situation if you’re interested.

Again, my optimism got a drubbing. More like delusional me facing the cold, hard reality. Not the first time I’ve gone through it though. Been there, done that. It is frustrating, to stand at the crossroads and longingly wishing to take this path. Problem is, there is a huge obstacle in the way. When should I give up? Now? Try again and again till you get past? I’m still making the same stand, but I just got my brain scrambled. Luckily, a sense of calm eventually prevailed shortly thereafter. Then, my supposedly rational self just reasoned myself back to a somewhat normal sense of normalcy. I’m not quite sure of a lot of things now,but I’m still sure I’m not insane but not completely sane either (in other words, back to normal).

First, it’s my own doing that I’m bloody obstinate. When I want things to go this way, that’s it unless somebody can convince me that I’m being irrational (or give me a good trashing). The other is because I’m the gutless risk taker, the black sheep who’s always seemingly wants to end up in hot soup. Looks like I probably need some circuit breakers for my brain. It has a lot of answers to my questions, but there’s plenty more waiting to be answered. Too bad I’m not omniscient.

I’m not putting things in perspective and I don’t care. Me, the author does not expect tonnes and tonnes of people to come to this blog every day or something. It’s supposed to be a quiet little corner for me to talk to the cyberspace void.

What I wanted, what I wished for, what I’m aiming for, what I loved, the list is in shreds now. Doesn’t matter, because what really mattered to me is already getting more and more distant from my grasp just like sand slipping through your fingers. So much for meticulous planning right? It all came to naught, with a Plan B that I don’t quite like.

Plus, two previously separate things came together, then merged, and then stayed linked. Am I actually doing things properly reasoned, or in the process of embarking on another act of blind impulse, based on a disastarous miscalculation? I made the exact same mistake before, one that I hope I shall never repeat again. Now, history is on the verge on repeating itself again! To err is to be human, but to do it twice reeks of foolishness. You and it and it and you? At least they’re both separated in space, if not in mind.

I wanted to get close to you and know you better, but now, time and circumstances will not permit it. To try and build a ship in a storm, it seems suicidal. That is, provided that I’m not deluding myself into believing there’s a possibility you want to build the ship in the first place. I hardly know what I’m in control of, much less of what you’re actually thinking. Wait, what am I thinking actually? Good question. Maybe I’ve really gone down the pipes after all.