Cry Amor, and Let Slip the Dogs of War!
Yes, the title reflects the archaic way we portray the campaign to win the heart of the desired fair maiden, or the dashing knight.
And yes, we speak of it in militaristic terms such as besieging a castle, artillery bombardment, etc etc etc (maybe it doesn’t happen to you, but that’s the kind of nice people I have around me). 
We’re now in the Information Age, and yet we still think like people from the Stone Age? At least back then, all you need is a club, and the strength to wield it. Then all is settled. Too bad that isn’t exactly an accurate reflection of how it really was back then, but maybe they were craving for that kind of simplicity too.
I had some chat with a couple of friends today, and they all couched their statements to reflect the existing battle lines, and the strategies that are employed in place to win the day (and heart). Well, a day isn’t enough to detail the entire battlefield plan, so it mostly focused on the initial stages. If you had to ask, they’re obviously single (or else this post would never have happened!). Let’s start from the beginning (and I’ll try to fill in the missing parts, while keeping it phrased in battlefield terms throughout).
At the beginning, you sight the potential target and immediately start assessing your options. Or, the clamor for war is started by your Cabinet (close friends). This is where the initial reconnaissance begins (if your fellow conspirators have been doing their homework well enough, you can skip this part). Then it’s time to draw the lines, prepare for ‘combat’ and entrench yourself. Of course, usually this phase is done quietly, unless some outsiders caught wind of the plan, and start spreading rumors.
Moving on, it’s time to engage the ‘target’. On casual terms, it’s called dropping hints. But on paper, it calls for huge sieges and artillery bombardment or maybe air strikes. Usually, most people stick to warfare styles of the medieval ages or the world wars. I guess the war on terror terminologies hasn’t made quite an impression yet. It’ll be very funny to hear that ‘the guy’s been trying a ’shock and awe’ campaign ever since he met her’, don’t you think? As for ‘winning hearts and minds’? That’s implicitly acknowledged already, I think. ‘Decapitation strike’? I’ll take it that you’re trying to remove an obstacle in your way. 
That led me to wonder, since the description of the act was so impressive, did the actual effect avow the other side equally? Maybe to you, you’re firing away with your weapons of war, but the other side is completely oblivious to everything! Something like firing a cannonball and a drop of rainwater falls on the other end. In conclusion, I think that a siege is not practical. You are better off sending an emissary to communicate the terms of war (to drop the hints in a more direct manner than superficial acts) and/or employing psychological operations to sway their opinion.
You’ll say ‘That’s easy for you to say, hypocrite!’ Ok, I was equally guilty of using the terms once, even to the extent of planning a war, Troy style. That was in the past, however. In its most current form, my entire strategy is now based on diplomacy and covert ops/psyops. Wait, what about that Troy war, you ask? After some bravado in suggesting the idea and actually planning to put it in practice, a cooler head prevailed and I called it off before any damage was caused. Best to start off with a clean sheet before I screw things up further. In the past, too much public furore messed things up thoroughly for me, effectively dooming the whole thing from the beginning. Miscommunication woes? Been there, done that.
In the end, I’m doing things mostly in the dark. All I can say is that it’s both good and bad. You don’t have everybody giving you different directions, and nobody to give you a whack when you’re doing things the wrong way. And since you have to gather intel on your own, you have to grope around in the dark (tripped and fell before, but haven’t gotten bitten yet). I guess things are quite well at the moment, when you’re trying to start a long distance relationship from same neighborhood. I’m still pretty much in the dark, if you’re wondering where I am at the moment. Wait till I light a match, then I’ll tell you. Been on and off, on and off. That gives you a high at one time and a low on the other. And it’s coming to another off again…and silence again.
